i will swim to you

i'm at school right now and am quite pissed at netscape. had a paragraph or two writen about how inhibiting my fear of failing has been recently. And it seems that no matter how much i grow confident in existing, i still fall into that pattern of behavior.

I was kept awake last night by the thought of working at a camp this summer. Of course, ligonier came to mind, but i also wanted to explore other options. i really don't feel any sort of confidence toward myself when try to write out applications. Or i just think I'm a much better person than how it would appear statistically. ugh!

I want to feel my heart break,
if it must break,
in your jaws.