jack of spades! jack of spades! play, play, play!

Terror is the feeling of going back to the junk-yard to face failure again.

I need to go and try to get a part for my dilapidated vehicle. That's why I've taken at least part of the day off. Because I need this part in order to pass inspection. Last months inspection.

I've already been once and failed spectacularly to retrieve the part. I found it, but could not wrestle it away from the corpse of another 1992 toyota corolla. The whole place was/is really foreboding. There are dead cars everywhere in various conditions. Bottom line though I just don't feel like having my pride crushed again by being unable to provide a way to keep my little hooptie street legal.

Hopefully, they'll let me have the entire day off.

avoidance.. to the extreme

This is interesting, though not too surprising, and perhaps slightly exagerated in some areas.

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid Personality Disorder:	Moderate
Schizoid Personality Disorder:	Low
Schizotypal Personality Disorder:	High
Antisocial Personality Disorder:	Low
Borderline Personality Disorder:	Moderate
Histrionic Personality Disorder:	Low
Narcissistic Personality Disorder:	Low
Avoidant Personality Disorder:	Very High
Dependent Personality Disorder:	High
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder:	High
-- Take the Personality Disorder Test -- -- Personality Disorder Info --

Keep It Like A Secret

Just a quick post, as it's pretty late. I went and saw Deerhoof tonight (Fan-tastic!) here in Richmond, which they said was there first time playing here (Unbelievable, right?). Anyway, I was going to write about it once I got home, but some other things came up. So, perhaps, I'll hit it up tomorrow, with an even clearer perspective than you would get from me right now.

It was such a great show. Honestly, if you get a chance, and you're looking for something fun and different in your rock n' roll, then go see them. They're mostly playing new stuff apparently, as their new album will be out soon. They did play a couple amazing renditions from their most recent, Green Cosmos. Namely, "Come See the Duck" and "Spiral Golden Town", the latter being a large reason I was at that show and the live version of it gave me goose-bumps of joy.

I picked up Apple O' and Milk Man afterwards. The gameplan was to only get one of their albums (I've gotten a lot of music recently, after a long drought), but these things change. I always feel at a loss when talking to band members, especially nice ones. Recently, I've been working on being more up-front about showing my appreciation for music/musicians, but there are a lot of the normal awkward roadblocks that appear when I'm interacting with anyone that I don't know. I did help one of them sell a copy of Green Cosmos, so I do get a few +points for that bit of initiation. Really, they probably would bought it whether I had said anything or not, but it fit in nicely for me to say, "Yeah, that one's good." I certainly could've said more, so really an iffy showing after all.

Anyway, to bed with me. I may mention more tomorrow.

Top 15+ Songs on iTunes for August

1. true love waits - radiohead
2. Oh! September - Mirah, Ginger & Friends
3. The Lord God Bird - Sufjan Stevens
4. Do You Wanna Go Somewhere? - Richard Buckner
5. The Hollows - Matt Pond PA
6. red house painters - have you forgotten
7. As Easy As Sleep The Six Parts Seven ... in lines and patterns
8. Vitos Ordination Song (demo) - Sufjan Stevens
9. 7/4 (shoreline) - Broken Social Scene
10. grace kelly with wings - Piebald
11. b0nes [demo] - ryan
12. The Transfiguration (Live) - Sufjan Stevens
13. The Car Chase - A Beautiful Mind Soundtrack
14. swimming with you - benton falls
15. Marching Bands Of Manhattan - Death Cab For Cutie

Other songs with a notable amount of air time:
Not A Pretty Girl - Ani Difranco
the immortal soul of mundo cani - Appleseed Cast
The Scientist - Coldplay
Soul Meets Body - Death Cab For Cutie
Leave Me Alone - Don Chaffer
twostep - Low
Song Beneath the Song - Maria Taylor
Grave's Disease - matt pond PA
lily one - matt pond PA
a list of sound - matt pond PA
Christmas Steps - Mogwai
small children in the background - Mogwai
For Real - Okkervil River
A Favor - Okkervil River
Little Star - stina nordenstam
Silent Night - Sufjan Stevens
The Friendly Beasts - Sufjan Stevens
Chicago (Live @ KCRW) - Sufjan Stevens
A Good Man is Hard to Find (Live @ KCRW) - Sufjan Stevens
Pickerall Lake - Sufjan Stevens
Jisas yu holem hand blong mi - The Thin Red Line Soundtrack

I'm having to resist the urge to justify some of this lists' content. I also need to decide if I'm going to reset my play count and start from sratch, or not. But the bigger question is why, two whole years after my last post, put up a list of "top songs"? Well, I find blogger to be more managable (and of interest to me) as a storehouse of information and, possibly, opinion. Which isn't to say I'm going to be posting too much, but this a start.

two months later... er

So i'm a bum. I know. i'm also of the opinion that nobody reads this anymore. but it's fun for me to see different things that i have written over the past year and a half, so i'm going to keep it going.

camp is close to end. feeling very mixed up about it, but on a whole, good. ready to be on my way, but still have some love to give to the kiddies :)

I have all sorts of fun options for after camp. Just a bunch of hanging out and driving all over the place. I'm excited, and only slightly worried about the details and decisions.

I... I am a time bomb.

one month later...

hey kids! sorry about the delay. my head's been gone and so has my computer. oh! i think i already said something about that. well, right now i'm working at camp. i've been here for almost 3 weeks now. I completely moved out of my apartment, which was a little more than stressful. anyway, i'll have a more set schedule from here on out, so i'll have a day off every week. i try to write more then, but for now i'm hungary and tired. sleep well.

her skin was cinnamon

"that's unpossible!"

i'm alive. quite. but i'm also pretty tired. had a busy weekend and a busy couple of weeks. it looks to get even busier, too. but yes, little things (like magically delicious emails, a few fantastic anime flicks and great weather [not too hot]!) are keeping me quite lovely. i might even spend the day in pittsburgh tomorrow. i really want to pick up hot hot heat's album. yes, there are now two record stores that i've been meaning to check out... better leave the credit card at home.

i seriously had one the best meals out of my life last night. it was so gorgous! it may sound ridiculous but it was so genuine that i felt like i could cry. words cannot do it justice. it was this little truck stop in the middle of western pa. far from city lights of any size. it certainly made think twice about this supposed city life i have planned from myself. part of me just wanted to marry the waitress and move into a farm down the road (right then). perhaps... some day.

you might sleep but you'll never dream
onward progress... or so it seems.