snow day

that's right, it's snowing! how fantastic. it's not all that fierce, as you can imagine. it certainly feels more like fall than spring, though. I can only dream :)

i'm feeling pretty groggy as i'm trying to get off my medication. i wish i had planed it out a bit better, though. it's just something that grew up on me the past two weeks. sadly, i've got a bunch of shit due for crime lit. This has become my absolute least favorite class, solely because of the teacher. it really just gets under my skin in so many ways. i'm really just not sure how i'm going to deal with it, because as things in my life usually go, i seem to have more work in this class than all the rest combined. whatever. i think too, that reading and talking about psychopaths, doesn't do much for my mental state. read into that as much as you want. we go into such detail! I don't understand the point. heh, and you might be thinking the same thing about the paragraph. perhaps i should take a nap.

there's nothing wrong that wasn't wrong before

riggy-de-de! riggy-de-de!

blah! what a odd weekend. Was all primed to get some reading done for class and write this paper that's been due for a week and a half, then i just got sucked into this whirlpool of self-hatred and went on to watch college basketball all weekend. Plus i spent money to try to make myself feel better, or at least drown my sorrows. I rented roger dodger which was really pretty damn good, contrary to what the lady at the video store said. I guess it is more for the guys anyway.

anyway, back to class. Really, quick though here's something i'm doing in protest of the war. Of course, i really i think it's a good idea anyways. We are too dependant on our fast foods and Walmarts. Plus, here's 101 Ways to Stop the War on Iraq
. If nothing else, it'll get you thinking.

there's no need to apologize for selling what you advertise

a partial story of one night

went to two shows the past two nights and almost thought going to a third tonight, if i wasn't so poor. Thursday night i went down to e. carson st. on the southside (pittsburgh) with luke good, who was in town for spring break. we hung out for a bit and were supposed to see unwed salior and ester drang together, but it was not an all ages show, and luke still has a little more than a week until the big day. So he went on with another friend, and i went on to the show, with the thought of meeting up later that night or the next. the show was pretty fantastic. I was pretty impressed with amusing peppy-ness of The Singing Mechanic, who apparently took the place of ester drang. It really was a nice little lead in to unwed, and as he so informed us, he's "a mechanic who tries to sing.", so there were quite a number of songs about driving, and one even written from a car's perspective :) Of course, unwed was just as amazing as the last time i saw them. I'd say that they're so very real that it is urreal. I really feel like they make music the way you're supposed to. Very natural and hopeful. Mary Timony was the headliner, but i've already written more than i have the energy for.

don't say a word, otherwise it's just too soon

i will swim to you

i'm at school right now and am quite pissed at netscape. had a paragraph or two writen about how inhibiting my fear of failing has been recently. And it seems that no matter how much i grow confident in existing, i still fall into that pattern of behavior.

I was kept awake last night by the thought of working at a camp this summer. Of course, ligonier came to mind, but i also wanted to explore other options. i really don't feel any sort of confidence toward myself when try to write out applications. Or i just think I'm a much better person than how it would appear statistically. ugh!

I want to feel my heart break,
if it must break,
in your jaws.

lightning risked it all

just a brief update to let you know i'm alive. changed the links up just a smidge. can't believe it's been over a month! i really just kept thinking i'd post "tomorrow" or something. This week i've been feeling pretty apathetic and useless. even listening to some kick-ass hardcore (via michelle) mixtapes in the car yesterday, i still had the melloncollie strains of the early day miners in my head whenever the tape stopped. i certainly feel out of place here, but i can't figure out where else to go. hmm, canada certainly seems like the place to be... maybe they'll give me a discount since i already own their flag. I'll have to look into that and get back to you.

until then...

Hold on Magnolia
I think its almost time